This too is ambience.

My friend who lives in Texas found this in a restaurant and sent a picture of the menu.


Now, I spend a lot of time arguing over how things I want to talk about count as ambience, but really, when they gave me this blog I just said, "Sonya's got cocktails, Bret has food, so just give me everything else about the dining experience."

If something makes you laugh, it is totally part of the dining experience. If I lived in Texas, I would definitely bring out of town guests to that restaurant to see "Pie as a vegetable." (Oh, who am I kidding? I would totally always get pie instead of vegetables. In fact, I would convert green beans, broccoli and potatoes into pie for a mere $2.85.)

What? This *totally* counts as "ambience"

Thrillist, which always gets scoops before me, emailed this morning with news and pictures of Bianca's, opening August 25 at 550 W 38th St, near 11th Ave in Hell's Kitchen. (Which is really inside HeadQuarters men's club.)



The blood-red lounge space warms the cockles of my tiny, rockabilly heart. It looks like a 1940s boudoir -- but the boudoir of some "bad girl," not Kate Hepburn or Lana Turner. (Maybe the boudoir of a prostitute cut to look like Lana Turner...) That's an LA Confidential reference, so I can't get in trouble for saying "prostitute" on this blog, right?

Regulars I'm sure will note that we keep reporting on the success of the "breastaurant," which is one of the only restaurant genres doing noticeably well in this economy. And Hooters really can call itself a family restaurant when Robert's at the Penthouse Club and Bianca's in HeadQuarters feature actual nakedness.

For me, the most fun part of all this is how much fun restaurant reviewers seem to have writing about these places. Like Thrillist which opens with "They say a way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but who doesn't also heart boobs?" and ends with a description of the food: "... halibut slathered in asparagus and wild mushrooms, whose parents will be devastated that they exposed their caps for a bunch of fratty, middle-aged businessmen."

From Thrillist.com. (Readers with poetic souls may want to click the link, because Thrillist is offering access to whoever sends them the best haiku about food and boobs.)

If Landmarks likes it, then you should put a ring around it

Lately I've been writing a lot about restaurants in Landmark-protected buildings. Historical sites are fantastic for restaurants, because they come equipped with a natural sense of history and ambience that is really difficult, and expensive, to fake. The down side to that, however, is that the Landmarks Protection and Preservation Commission is extremely dedicated to keeping these spaces as they are, and they can be tough about letting restaurateurs change things like lighting and fixtures.

New York Magazine's design editor, Wendy Goodman, discovered that the Ace Hotel in New York found a clever way to get around the problem by installing hanging lamps that ring the space's columns without actually touching them.


From Nymag.com

While we're on the subject of Landmarks, another benefit to landmark status is that your insurance is required to replace everything exactly as it was in case of a fire or other emergency. Without Landmark status, an insurer can, and probably will, argue that there is no need to replace a 19th-century tin roof with another tin roof, when something modern and cheaper would do just as well.

For more landmark restaurants, see also:
The Oak Room
Dovetail

Eye Candy: Dune

I have some pictures of Michael Getter's soon-to-open Nantucket restaurant, Dune, and the place looks pretty chill and sandy. They sent one picture in particular, which shows the custom stone bar top. Stone is always cool when it works out, because every piece is unique and has its own shapes and colors. They got pretty excited about this piece for the restaurant, because as soon as they looked at it they saw a pattern in the stone that looked like Nantucket island.



For reference, this is a map of Nantucket:


The bar top is naturally patterned Brazilian quartzite fabricated by GerrityStone.

Eye Candy: This blog post brought to you by the letters "O" and "A"

I loved fireworks when I was 5 or 6. Then I became cool and they were "so lame" until I turned 21, which is when I figured out that one of the great gourmet pairings of the world is the marriage of fireworks and beer. Honestly, when else can you say, "Ooo" and "Aaaa" without a trace of irony?

I'm embarrassed to admit I said that out loud just now, even though I'm in my plain beige cubicle and there are neither fireworks nor beer within 100 feet. All I actually did was open a press release from a British company called Limlip that makes fiber optic chandeliers. They look like this:


Ooooo.


Aaaaa.


Oooo.


This is like Laser Floyd.


I was going to write about "A properly orchestrated lighting schematic is essential to the deployment of blah blah ambience blah." But I'm easily distracted by brightly colored glowing things. I'm also fairly certain that those chandeliers would do truly amazing things to any women who happened to be wearing sequined dresses while sitting under them.

They also do plain crystal chandeliers that don't glow or anything. They just look like this:

Look! It's space!

Bobo's stuffed cat freaks out fashion bloggers

Bobo hosted the presentation (sort of a low-cost alternative to a runway show where fashion people walk around the clothes instead of seeing them on catwalk parade) for fashion designers Alison Lewis and Ashley Granata last night.

During the fashion show, a few bloggers from fashionista.com saw Bobo's stuffed bobcat for the first time and vaguely freaked out. Bobo's stuffed bobcat hangs from the ceiling and wears a pink tutu and pearls "like it was Audrey Hepburn," say the fashion bloggers. They thought he was dressed up for the fashion event, but really those are just his everyday clothes.

As far as hanging preserved animals from the ceiling, the Bobo cat may rival the Trader Vic's fish for this year's most terrifying decor award.

(I don't have pictures, but they do.)

Hawaiian Tropic Zone plans renovations

Hawaiian Tropic Zone, the suntan-theme Times Square restaurant with waitresses in bikinis and a menu by David Burke, announced today that it would be launching a $500,000 renovation after serving 1,000,000 customers.

The renovation is under direction of architect Robert Parnes of Tobin & Parnes Design Enterprises. The plan is to consolidate the 200-seat restaurant on the second floor of the building, vacating the street-level space to free up 3,100 square feet for a new retail tenant.

The restaurant will be closing for renovations February 8, so there are a few days left if you need to get in there before it reopens on May 1.



If you visit the website, you can see photos of the "table concierges" and read about their "guilty pleasures," "pet peeves" and favorite celebrities. Unfortunately there's no page for Burke, so we don't get to find out his feelings on rude people or guys who have dirty nails. Maybe he could borrow Melanie's leopard print bikini.